Episode 8: On Home is the Safest Place

abdullahmaute

(The series is full of restorative values, hence in this review I focus on 'Home is the Safest Place' to be who we really are)

Parallelly, one of the reasons why Cai ran away aside from fear of being not accepted by his family was he felt that the home was not safe for him to be who he really was. "Ma, I am sorry, because I am not the son you think I was." Although the core outtake of this is we should never feel sorry for who we really are - that we have to be unapologetically us - there is an unpolished wisdom here.

Family offers the experience of belonging that we needed. We long to belong. And if we think we don't belong to any other classes, then the family will save our dread and anxiety for that. But what happen when we don't feel like we belong to the family - that is we feel that we are not safe at home where our family domiciled? We are forced to fit into the mould of moral normalism. We are forced to wear the armor of masculinity or uniform of femininity. We are compelled to be the good child. Such a case is the endgame of freedom of being who we really are.

This is why the home should be the safest place for the member of the family to be who they really are. We have had enough of wearing mask in corporate world or at university or with the company of our friend. We should unwear all these masks effectively when we say, "I am home."

Redeemingly, the Lazaro family is the perfect illustration of this. Cai didn't feel safe at home to show who he really was and when he was outed - afraid of rejection - he ran away. But his family reassured him that the home was the safest place to be who he really was. "You don't apologize for being who you really are," Cai's mom said. In her serious attempt to console and for Cai to not feel apologetic, she humbly apologized, "I didn't make an effort to gain your trust to make you fell that you could tell anything to me, to us... I didn't make you feel that we are on your side. That you are safe with us." On the part of his brother Lazaro, he had already told Cai that he accepted him in Episode 7, albeit told in the mood of grief and anger. But knowing that his brother would blame himself for the demise of their father - and as an eldest brother - he said, "I am sorry for making you feel that way. It is not your fault." Lastly his father - too knowing that his son was blaming himself - sent a scheduled email that freed Cai from all the guilt that consuming him: "It saddens me every time you texted me at the hospital. I already told you that it's not your fault. Maybe, you really need to hear me forgive you. OK, I forgive you, Cairo. I hope you forgive yourself, too." These lines - banal and modest but they have not been told in our everyday life - coming from the member of Lazaro family encapsulate that home is the safest place to be who we really are.

score 10/10

abdullahmaute 19 July 2020

Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw5917334/