A Film About As Creative As A Fast Food Restaurant!

liberalgems

It's too bad that a law is not passed in the United States allowing you to get a full ticket refund if you walk out of the theater after watching 50% or less of a movie. A bell could ring or light could flash for a second to remind the patrons of a last call for a refund! If a system like this was in place in the United States, I guarantee you - rotten, boring trash like Jumper would never, ever be made! Half the theater would have emptied out in a heartbeat! This film is so incredibly vapid and mind-numbingly dull it genuinely insults the intelligence of the movie going audience!!

I realize movies actors need to make a living! But big stars like Hayden Christensen and Samuel L. Jackson should be ashamed of themselves - they can pick and choose their projects. Memo to Their Hollywood Agents: You are ruining their careers! If dreary, campy films is all you can find for them to work on then maybe you shouldn't be in the movie star agent business!

There is absolutely nothing redeeming about this godforsaken, awful story! The good guys teleport (A mutant power rip-off from the X-men). The bad guys are religious nuts that kill the teleporters in cold blood because "only God should have this power." Simple as that! Each group tries to kill the other. The good guys are all really sexy looking guys and gals in there 20's! All the bad guys are about 20 years older and could be the good guys parents! And in one case, the bad guy is a parent! One of the most memorable lines: "When you were five years old I had to either kill you or leave you. You shouldn't have come here (parent's home), but I will give you a head start." What a pal! When I heard this line I thought to myself, "how inspiring!" Parents are all defective or crazy religious zealots or non-existent. Religious people are all fanatical killers going back to the "Inquisition." Only narcissistic 20-Somethings are the heroes in the world of Jumper. But even they are so narcissistic, that when the Christmas Eve Tsunami hits the Indian Ocean nations of the world, does our hero, Hayden Christensen, go and use his incredible teleporting powers to save those drowning before his eyes on the T.V. news? Nope! He grabs a surf board and teleports to some Pacific Island country to surf those extra powerful waves! How disgusting and shocking! What are the writers of this story trying to tell us? That 20-30 year olds are so gross they only care about themselves? So, in a real sense, there are absolutely no good guys in this pathetic film!

Now that the writer's strike is over I hope those responsible for crafting this depressing trash get kicked out of the Writers Union! I'm sure there are plenty of talented writers in the world who can churn out a decent story, and would give their eye-teeth to break into show business! One can only hope!

score 1/10

liberalgems 17 February 2008

Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1821959/