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I was looking forward to this movie, until I started hearing things. I heard the Mandarin was going to be the villain, who used to be little more than a dime store Ming the Merciless. The whole technology v. magic aspect annoyed me. But watching the first few minutes raised my hope. The first, oh, fifteen minutes or so lay the groundwork for a very good story. Terrorists, international incidents, corporate backstabbing, father-son conflict and halfway decent characterization led me to believe that I was about to watch a pretty decent adaptation. The movie, though, then begins to trip. The trip turns into a stumble. The stumble turns into a fall. The fall turns into a fall down a spiral staircase.
After raising an ancient city in China, against the wishes of a terrorist group calling themselves the Jade Dragons (not cliché' at all) Tony Stark's digging crew accidentally release the servants of the long dead Emperor the Mandarin. His elemental servants need to gather five rings to bring the Mandarin back to life. Well, when Tony Stark went to investigate, he was severely wounded and forced to rely on machines to survive. The Jade Dragons order Stark to undo what he's done. Of course, what he's done is a science-fictiony thing, so he needs his science fictiony stuff to undo it. Instead, he builds a suit of armor in secret and eventually makes his escape, but not before finding out about the Mandarin's elemental servants. Upon returning to the States, Tony is accused of dealing arms to the Jade Dragons, and makes a daring escape. He then sneaks into Stark Enterprises and we find he's been working on a secret project. What secret project? Why a giant room full of Iron Man suits! Sure! Of course. Why not? So Stark goes questing for the rings, get's his metal rear handed to him while he whittles down the elemental spirits. Eventually he winds up at the Mandarin's temple to face the final elemental, with his love interest in the movie so far "Mei Ling." Turns out she's not a Jade Dragon, she's a descendant of the Mandarin who's supposed to raise him from the dead. A pointless fight scene with a dragon, and one anime-style light show later, and the ghost of the Mandarin, via Mei Ling, is pounding Tony's metal butt down. Until he shouts "Remember who you are" which somehow snaps her out of it and she throws off the Mandarin's rings. Yay! Lei Ming dies (I think), Tony patches things up with his father, takes control of the company, patches things up with his best friend, and everything's happy! Um, wait a second... what? Iron Man ends with a sort of "What?" feeling. Do yourself a favor, just hope really hard that the live action is better than this.
score 5/10
ZekeRage911 11 October 2007
Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1744505/ |
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19-4-2021 02:39:07