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"Break out the Kleenex!" I said to myself, ready to watch a Joe D'Amato film starring Laura Gesmer and Sabrina Siani, and all set to pass out from exhaustion around the fifteen minute mark, just like when I watched D'Amato's 'Emmanuelle and the Last Cannibals'. Then I noticed it was a PG film, but my disappointment was short lived as I discovered that the guy prancing around looking like Ghengis Khan was actually Edmund Purdom, mister Movie Gold himself. I almost needed those Kleenex right there and then!
Purdom's never been in a bad film, be it 'Pieces', 'Don't Open Till Christmas' or '2019: After the Fall of New York', and here again he picks a winner, another Italian sword and sorcery film that's low on sense, but high on stupidity.
Miles O'Keefe (with a great hair-metal do) is Ator, son of some guy who tried to bring down the Spider King, brought up by step parents, with a bear for a sidekick and a sister he wants to marry. The high priest of the Spider or something, Dakkar (from Zombie Flesh Eaters), kidnaps Ator's sister and it's up to Ator and his mentor Ghengis Purdom to do...things!
Ator, his bear and newly acquired, violent sidekick Sabrina Siani, set off on many adventures to get Ator's sister back, be it meeting enchantress Laura Gesmer (with clothes!), or enduring the least eventful zombie attack in history, or robbing a whorehouse and killing the customers for no reason at all, or for stealing from blind people and killing them too, on and on and on until Ator faces off with the bad guys, one of which has had the stupidest plan I've ever heard in a long time and that's saying something.
Top it all of with a battle involving an extra from The Giant Spider Invasion and you've got yet another IQ dissolving serving of Italian madness. It doesn't top Fulci's Conquest (whereupon viewing Conquest does result in a feeling that Sabrina Siani has sucked all you brains from the top of your head), but Ator's daft enough to make the grade! Love that end credits tune too!
score 8/10
Bezenby 4 November 2012
Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2699231/ |
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6-4-2021 06:47:14