Old Genius Marries a Teenager..Hmmm...

leroybow

Slimy regurgitated comedy-like substance from the bowels of Woody Allen about an old genius who marries a much younger girl who was once his Asian stepdaughter named Soon-Yi Previn. Err.. sorry.. strike that.

This is about a slimy old Woody Allen genius who marries a young hillbilly girl he finds on his doorstep swaddled in a bassinet, cooing.. ahh..no, wait, that's not right either. There's NO bassinet. That's just silly, so stop it. She's old enough for marriage, okay? I'm pretty sure. Let's see.. according to IMDb, Evan Rachel Wood was in the movie "Thirteen" at least 5 years ago making her..ahh, carry the one...making her over the legal age by.. mmm... by months. SEVERAL months, okay? So let's settle down, stop the insinuations - it's beneath you, really - and get on with the review:

The acting is uniformly horrible, right down to the extras and unseen characters, but I'm not sure the source material they're reading COULD be acted well. In Act One the characters loudly announce their stereotypes, in Act Two they announce their abrupt life changes into totally different stereotypes, then in Act Three they announce that life's a crap shoot, the universe is an uncaring void, but the joys of the Marx Brothers makes life worth living so support your comic movie makers. The End. Drive safely.

Is this the same Woody Allen that made "Annie Hall"? It can't be the same guy, can it? Maybe I'm mixed up and it's a Woody Woodpecker picture. It's loud and annoying like a woodpecker. I'll have to check IMDb on that one. Anyway, I stuck with the whole mess because Larry David is funny in his improvisational show "Curb Your Enthusiasm". But with written lines he seems to just..what's the word?.. "exclaim" everything. It's not acting really, it's more like acting out. In any case, this movie gives off a strange vibe. The dialog is so stagy, and weird, that it seems like it must have been made that way on purpose. But why would a woodpecker do that? This is a terrible movie.

score 1/10

leroybow 8 May 2010

Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2246860/