I wasted 1hr and 37min of my life on this movie

liria

I only half-heartedly hoped that this straight to DVD sequel might have some redeeming quality that most of its ilk do not. It was just as I expected it to be - trite and predictable all the way through, with absolutely NO redeeming qualities whatsoever but for the Hollywood happy ending, for those that must have one (and even that was barely tolerable).

The only actor from the original film that returned to the sequel was Luke Mably, continuing his role as Prince Edvard. (Perhaps that should have given him some indication that making this film wasn't a good idea.) If he is the only reason you want to watch the movie, it's not worth it. Everything I liked about the original was ruined in this sequel, right down to the abysmal dialogue, acting, and plot. None of the new actors seemed to fit into the characterizations created by their predecessors. This made all of them feel stiff, as though they are being forced to express sentiments and traits that are not natural to them. Paige's character had no dimension and none of the endearing qualities that got you to like Julia Stiles originally. Mably has absolutely NO chemistry with the actress playing Paige Morgan and it shows.

Below is a full plot summary. If you do not wish to read the plot and spoilers, please do not read any further.

A greedy, penniless cousin of the royal family who is royalty in Norway finds an old law which reads that if the prince was crowned without a bride, then his bride must be of royal Scandinavian blood or he must abdicate the throne. This noble just happens to have a daughter, Kirstin, who was a playmate of Edvard's when they were younger. She was chubby back then, but surprise! Today she's fit to be a model. Kristin professes to be on Paige and Edvard's side and against her father. Both sides of royalty agree to keep things out of the press, and the royal lawyers do what they can to find a loophole. (Anyone want to guess as to their success?) Meanwhile, Kirstin undermines and humiliates Paige in any way she can, proving that she's out for herself. Edvard can't believe his childhood friend would do such a thing. Paige confronts Kirstin, and then the underhanded cat-fight is on, each trying to humiliate the other as much as possible.

The stress eventually separates Paige and Edvard, and she goes to live in the school dorm until finals are over. Edvard, trying to "do what's right for the people," continues wedding preparations to marry Kirstin instead of Paige. Paige spots a tabloid picture of Eddie in which he isn't smiling as though he loves Kirstin, and then sets out for the school's law library with some friends to try to find the loophole that all the lawyers couldn't find. (Anyone want to bet on her success? Oh, wait, I already mentioned Hollywood happy-ending.) Eddie decides just before the wedding that he can't marry Kirstin. (Who knew?) He finds Paige coming out of the library. She shares the good news. They get Soren to lock Kirstin in her room. (And 'hilarity ensues' as she tries to break her way out and get to the church just in time to make a fool of herself.) Meanwhile, according to a newer law (40 years newer than the one previously discussed), Paige has to read the constitution in Danish in front of the Parliament. She manages it, they marry, Kirstin makes a fool of herself, and it's finally over.

Conspicuously absent in all this: Princess Arabella, Edvard's little sister; not even a mention that she exists. Oh, and why can't Edvard just ask Parliament to update the law? All in all, this movie falls flat on its face in the mud, just like Kirstin did.

score 1/10

liria 21 February 2006

Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1307587/