EarthRod Publish time 26-11-2019 02:42:08

It could be viewed through the narrow prism of social class if you so wish, but if you do then you miss my point.

I went from one extreme to another and my last comment indicated all the many shades of grey in between: as I said - a grey subjective area which might be a problem for the legal profession.

Toko Black Publish time 26-11-2019 02:42:09

maybe it's just me, I am probably not the best example as I have never been able to ask a girl out in my life and that's 45yrs ...
All the women I have been out with had got extremely frustrated trying to at first drop hints then resorting to hints as subtle as a house brick. They ended up having to spell it out in plain english with absolutely no ambiguity what so ever.

..... I'm a right Rudolph Valentino me ....

EarthRod Publish time 26-11-2019 02:42:09

IMO there is a minefield.

Take the situation where you've had a good night out/dinner etc and afterwards drive her home. All well and good up to that point, but then after a goodnight kiss in the car she invites you in.

How the story unfolds after the invite is fraught with moves which could prove to be unfortunate later, even 15 years later. The many and varied ways men press home their advantage to the ultimate goal is a minefield and experience in these matters can only be gained through trial and error.

...Trial and error.

Jezza99 Publish time 26-11-2019 02:42:10

I think that's a bit unfair IG. There is a world of difference between saying "I know where you can warm them up", and "why don't you shove them down my underpants".

The former could have many meanings, including entirely innocent ones, while the latter is clearly inappropriate.Call me a Diplodocus if you want, but to me, here's the grey area, which 15 years ago no one would have batted an eyelid at.

Ruperts slippers Publish time 26-11-2019 02:42:10

You just don't do it do you, it is harassment, these stupid suggestive comments are cringe worthy to listen to and intimidating for some women.
Mrs Neilios worked in a couple of bars whilst at uni and the caricature of the male letch at the bar is a truism. Me and a pal were once sat in our local and a bloke spent ages pestering this woman working behind the bar, in fact it was so bad we began openly laughing at his numerous failed attempts to engage with this girl who was quite clearly out of his league and very uncomfortable with his attention. The situation turned into a Mexican stand off, in the end we told him to go away, whilst roaring with laughter.
In my experience a woman will make it quite clear if she wishes to be intimate, whether it's a path worth pursuing especially with a work colleague is something both parties need to think about.

What's really amusing is yrs ago religion and civic society frowned upon this type of situation and relations between men and women where clearly defined. However, post sexual revolution we are now mired in constant moral dilemma of does he/she, what to say or do, with criminal law now being used as a tool to unwieldy adjudicate in these matters. The consequence being people are now being hung drawn and quartered in public by their own behaviour.

Will this bring people closer together, no it will just increase suspicion and mistrust, clumsy male entitlement is battling with feminism and the post modernist Marxist, this has even penetrated our intimate relationships rather than letting people deal with these situations themselves.

The proverbial Cats out of the bag now, society will now spend the next 100 yrs redefining and micro managing consent, behaviour and relationships, even speech, thought, looks and glances will be analysed to the nth degree.

rancidpunk Publish time 26-11-2019 02:42:11

We're way beyond the realms of asking someone out in that scenario though, or making unwelcome sleazy comments.

If you're at that stage, and that's pretty intimate, it's not difficult to know where you both stand with just a modicum of communication.

Jezza99 Publish time 26-11-2019 02:42:12

Not at all. These are the scenarios where false rape allegations arise. Woman wakes up in the morning, regrets it, feels cheap whatever. She remains anonymous, guy's name is splashed all over the papers, life is ruined. Happens far too often.

Teacher's nightmare after false assault charge | Daily Mail Online

Not the same scenario, but an example of how easy it is for an innocent guy's life to be ruined.

rancidpunk Publish time 26-11-2019 02:42:12

Also leads, all too often, to rape. Both rare cases in comparison to the numerous people who manage early stages of relationships perfectly well though.
Also, a world away from these harassment claims.

Jezza99 Publish time 26-11-2019 02:42:13

So when a woman invites a guy in for "coffee", sometimes she actually only means "coffee"?

Cobblers.

Ruperts slippers Publish time 26-11-2019 02:42:14

I've had female customers be quite suggestive, when I used to DJ regularly I've had women ignore my girlfriend/wife to make advances, once came home from a gig to an after party at mine (Which was a regular occurrence) with two girls in my room waiting for me, whilst the girlfriend was downstairs. I've also become friendly with some school run mums.

However I'm quite aware that boundaries can be blurred and my motto has always been 'if in doubt keep out'.
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