God forgive the producers of this, because I won't.

bordentownfilms

I'm going to preface this by saying, I enjoyed Pumpkinhead I. It was a good story about backwoods lore. Though the camera found the monster a little too often (Stan Winston can be forgiven for falling in love with his creation, though) it was a good 80's popcorn horror flick.

Having said that, the people who made Pumpkinhead 2: Bloodwings, should be skinned alive, strapped to a chair with their eyelids peeled open and forced to watch this ridiculous piece of garbage again and again. Did Andrew Robinson even read the script before he showed up to shoot this train-wreck?

You were in Hellraiser for God's sake, have some pride!

Did these idiots even watch the first film? Was that old woman supposed to be the same witch that stole Lance Henricksen's soul? I hope not--because otherwise, it's quite an accomplishment that she was suddenly good, and that her name was changed.

The fifties flashback? The mullet-ed mayor with the guitar? The annoying medical examiner who--for some strange reason is ALWAYS at the sheriff's house? And the idea that this new Pumpkinhead was the hell-spawn of the old Pumpkinhead and some "not so special woman" is idiotic. What? Are you trying to tell me they slept together? Did you see the first movie? If you look closely, you'll notice that ol' Pumpkinhead isn't exactly anatomically correct.

The absolute most horrendous part of this movie came in the character of Paul--otherwise known as the friend who didn't get any throughout the whole film. I want to say something to Paul right now, are you listening? You had no point at all in this film. You deserved to get killed for those stupid clothes you had on. Your one job was to go and get the car from around front--you couldn't even do that right. May God have mercy on your soul.

I don't know why God let this movie get made. My buddy Marc told me I had to watch it because it was so stupid. I believed him beforehand, but--in a Twilight Zone-ian sense, I had no idea HOW RIGHT he was. I want to conjure Pumpkinhead to come get him for having brought it home from the video store.

I feel like having watched this movie, I've somehow been exposed to some great and terrible contagion that will make me incapable of appreciating a good movie ever again.

score /10

bordentownfilms 7 August 2003

Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw0346723/