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It's getting to the point where I really shouldn't watch anything with C. Thomas Howell (The Hitcher) in it, because invariably the film is going to be a big pile of garbage (see Dead Fire and The Shepherd). I thought with this one being shoe themed, and having famed shoe actor Jake Busey (or Jake Shoesy, as he's known) in it, The Hitcher's Shoe might be okay. I was wrong.
We first see Jim Halsy (C. Thomas Howell, from the Hitcher), as a policeman/cobbler stopping a kidnapper and shooting him in order to retrieve a small kid and his shoes. Jim gets kicked off the force and ordered to hand in his badge and police issue boots, and he's also suffering from PTSD due to the events of the last film. His girlfriend/shoe designer/pilot thinks Jim needs a holiday, so they both set out wearing sandals to go and meet a cop from the last film, which involves driving cross country, but that's where hitchhikers are! Before long, they're passing a crashed RV with all shoes scattered everywhere, but Jim doesn't want to stop as his shoe senses are kicking off. A motorcycle zooms by and crashes (due to the driver not having the correct footwear), and Jim's missus convinces him to pick up the guy, who turns out to be toothsome Jake Busey (The Doc Marten Murders, High Heel Shoe Musical, and, inexplicably, playing the blonde chick out of Abba in Abba: The Movie).
For no reason (other than he's got a Busey in his car), Jim has a flash-forward to Jake pulling a giant gun out of his shoe, freaks out, and throws Jake out of the car. Get this – in his vision, he even gets the make of Jake's gun correct! Turns out Jake is indeed totally insane and may even be the Hitcher from the first film reincarnated into the body of a thirty year old man, somehow. As Jim explains: "I don't know how, but it's him
I can tell from his shoes." What follows is
basically what happens in the first film, only terrible. A cat and mouse chase where Jake leaves all sorts of corpses (and shoes) everywhere and frames Jim and his wife for murder, loads of cops in boots chasing people about, a severed finger getting deep fried and two stand out scenes: one in a shoe warehouse and another where Jake and Jim's wife face off, jousting with long poles with shoes dangling off the end.
The first Hitcher was a good, tight thriller with Rutger Hauer being all menacing and that. Jake Busey (from "There's a Narwhal In My Soup", "The Tiger that Sued The Vatican", and "ET 2: Extra Testicle") is just goofy. Goofier than Wings Hauser. That said, he's got some character, and I can't say that about See Thomas Howl (from "Carpet Sample Man", "The Arse Pincher" and Disney classic "Intergalatic Whelk Voids It's Bowels over Manhattan").
Not even good bad, just bad bad. Shoes. Also: Tom Skerrit.
score 4/10
Bezenby 28 July 2014
Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3057479/ |
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4-3-2021 00:07:15