My Review

joemamaohio

Back in the olden days, somewhere in Europe, renegade bad boy Lorenzo (Hayden Christensen) is on the run from Gerbino (Tim Roth), who wants him dead after a game Lorenzo won. Meanwhile, rich Pampinea (Mischa Barton) is set to be married to some foreign guy, but Gerbino wants her for himself, and Lorenzo has a little thing for her too perhaps.

Lorenzo ends up in a convent, pretending he's deaf and dumb so the nuns will all have sex with him for some reason, then Pampinea, on the run, ends up at the convent too, and falls for him even more.

Basically all this movie is is a very undermined porno. Nuns having sex with Lorenzo all the time doesn't really convey what nuns really do. And just the overall storyline is ridiculous. It's like a lame version of "Casanova", without the superb acting abilities of Heath Ledger and Sienna Miller, and instead the leads go to Hayden "I killed Darth Vader for every true 'Star Wars' fan" Christensen and Misha "I should've never quit 'The O.C.'" Barton. Run far away from this film, or find a place to bury it so no one will ever find it.

score 4/10

joemamaohio 22 August 2008

Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1934121/