rlange-3 Publish time 11-4-2021 11:20:05

Disappointingly pathetic, might be OK for children

I read Mysterious Island as a child many years ago and I remember being fascinated by it. This version might be OK as a family evening to pass the time -- there is no foul language, no nudity, barely a hint of a romantic relationship with one kiss.

However as entertainment for adults it fails on every level. As many have mentioned, the special effects are not special at all, the dialogue is stilted, the acting for most of the cast is charitably mediocre, and the plot elements come across as contrived. And it is long, without good timing.

Apparently the director decided that this timeless classic novel needed a major rewrite to pass muster in the new millennium. Two woman are thrown in as major characters; the younger manages a new wardrobe almost daily, and neither have so much as their hair mussed for more than five minutes, despite fighting off pirates, giant ants, sea monsters and what have you. They manage to build a house inside a nice clean cave with amenities that probably rival those available to a typical country cottage in the 30s. I was almost surprised that they didn't manage a washing machine. Smokeless fires conveniently illuminate the giant cave better than track lighting. Everyone in the main party manages to be fresh scrubbed and well groomed at all times.

The pirates are like the Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyworld, highly stereotyped caricatures. At least the Pirate Captain is entertainingly bombastic, but realism has definitely been left marooned on the shore somewhere.

Nothing even approaches being frightening, or intriguing. For a movie for those interested in Verne's work or a well told adventure tale, this is a waste of time.

score 4/10

rlange-3 2 February 2010

Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2200949/35820
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