Russell Mulcahy directed this??????????????!!!!!!!??!???
What the devil is this? It's your typical TV-movie garbage... poor story (Not Verne's fault, it isn't even his original story but an adaptation randomly written by 12 monkeys) poor acting (who would have thought it, with Patrick Stewart and Kyle McLachlan's names being in it.) horrible lighting, horrible directing (And it's Highlander and The Shadow's Russel Mulcahy!!), unrealistic, fake and below-average TV-cgi.There's only one plus for this movie. If you are a Dune fan, you get to see again Paul Atreides and Gurney Halleck together again. But it's curious. It seems Stewart hasn't aged as much as Kyle has since the eighties. It's fun and nostalgic to see them together again. Unfortunately this nostalgia alone can't compensate for the silliness that reeks from every single scene.
Patrick Stewart, as Nemo, is forced to wear a turban that doesn't really fit at all with his occidental complexion. He's also visibly embarrassed and stiff wearing it, and the result is not very convincing. You almost expect Stewart to say 'computer: end simulation' as Picard did every time he left the Holodeck in ST:TNG. It's too bad that the script was so lame because Nemo seems like the kind of character Stewart could have had a lot of fun with. Very similar to Ahab in many ways. A great man gone wrong. Unfortunately the script misses the mark, and he's displayed as a grumpy and slightly moronic host who couldn't find his shoes without his 'multipurpose butler'... a butler who doubles as cook, psychologist, physician---- I mean, this guy is incredible!
Kyle's character is as alive as a chunk of wood. He's also inexplicably hostile towards Nemo without any good reason. He comes across as having horrible manners towards his host, no gratitude at all, and a recurring tendency to awkward reactions. There's a scene when he's dining with Nemo, in which there's a giant crab pincer served as main dish, and he seems completely oblivious to it. Only when Nemo warns him that the island is dangerous due to giant creatures, does he react with surprise and disbelief... well what's that in front of your face then you dummy???
The rest of the characters are either cardboard cutouts or cannon fodder for the cheap CGI monster of the moment.
Speaking of the monsters, one of the worst has got to be the giant rat, because in certain scenes instead of running, it almost looks like it's hovering over the grass.
I won't even comment on the pirates, because they are uncomfortably childish.
I'm a huge Patrick Stewart fan. I've seen some things I didn't necessarily enjoy just because of him being in them. but this is a true test of fan loyalty... Being in the X-men movies I wouldn't have thought he'd be that pressed for money. Because, as judging from my fellow reviewer's opinions, I agree 100% that he can't have thought this was decent material.
My advice.. skip it. It's not even bad or pathetic in a good way. You won't have fun ripping it to shreds, because you'll probably be asleep or disturbed for most of it's duration.
score 1/10
adler_elfooscuro 5 April 2006
Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1336844/35820
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