And now for something completely different....
Ator!!! NO !! NO !! NO !! .. .not Miles O'Keefe. Unfortunately yes. This seems to be an Italian rip off of Conan (which is funny cause an Italian produced that movie - and was filmed in nearby Spain).This is the origin of Ator (which sounds funny since this is technically the first movie, however, most of us know Miles O'Keefe from the Mystery Science 3000 episode of Cave Dwellers, a.k.a Ator 2). Most of us will remember this movie from the various flashbacks in Ator 2, a.k.a Cave Dwellers.
In the first five minutes of the movie we are assaulted with a long, boring narrative that doesn't make a heap of sense. This is followed up by dialog like :
(Minion) Lord, the sign is in the sky.
(Dakkar) What are you saying foooooollll ??
(Minion) The animals cry out and the wind, the trees, the mountain. The earth trembles like a virgin being drawn to the nuptial bed, and the sky is the color of flame, my Lord.
(Dakkar) hmmmmmmmm....
(Dakkar) ..... .... (LINE !!!!)
This is followed up by some more pointless plot points, dialog and fights scenes that look like the Bionic Man was choreographing. One of my favorite scenes is invention of ballet during the wedding scene. It was a modern dance interpretation gone completely wrong. The other scene is a look at our hero, who is a peeping tom pervert.
This is definitely for fans of Deathstalker, Red Sonya and the Barbarian Brothers. If you like your sword and sorcery lite, crunchy with a side of Jack Daniels, then this is the movie for you.
And what was up with that bear ? It was in more scenes than Miles O'Keefe. I guess they were trying to rip off of the Beastmaster as well.
-Celluloid Rehab
score 1/10
CelluloidRehab 23 October 2004
Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw0950969/35740
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