Makes Caveman, Cavegirl and Year One look like works of genius.
Dawn of Sex, another Poundland purchase (when will I learn?), features blonde Hollywood hottie Ali Larter in sexy cave-woman attire, as well as numerous other babes wearing very little at all—and yet it still proves to be an excruciatingly dull watch thanks to writer/director Adam Rifkin's dreadful laugh-free script, his dire central performance, lousy direction, and woeful special effects. Well done, Rifkin: you've managed make a film loaded with hot women a virtually joyless experience!Rifkin plays the film's luckless prehistoric 'hero', philosophical forward-thinking caveman Ishbo, who has about as much luck with the women as he does with his crappy inventions: Ishbo is in love with his life-long friend Fardart (Larter), but she is attracted to his much more athletic brother Thudnik (Hayes MacArthur). In one extremely ill-conceived moment, Ishbo accepts defeat and attempts to 'club' (ie., assault and rape) another woman, but winds up killing her instead. Finally, he gets drunk and shags a chimpanzee. And we, the viewers, are supposed to find all of this hilarious and feel empathy towards this pathetic loser!?!
The 'comedy' goes from bad to worse when Fardart is abducted by rival tribe, the Binadraks, and Ishbo embarks on a rescue mission. In a scene obviously written by Rifkin just so that he can frolic with several semi-naked, silicon-enhanced bimbos, Ishbo encounters a tribe of beautiful Amazonians who want him to impregnate them. After having his genitals washed by several of the sexy women, Ishbo is about to get started with the tribe's leader Queen Fallopia (Carol Alt) when his conscience kicks in and he flees to find the love of his life. He should have stayed and lived the life of a stud, however, for when Ishbo finally tries to free Fardart, she refuses to leave, preferring the company of the macho Binadraks. Well done Rifkin: you've succeeded in turning the lovely Larter into a despicable bitch.
Dawn of Sex also features embarrassingly bad performances from once-respectable actors David Carradine, Gary Busey, and Talia Shire, all of whom should have turned the project down and immediately fired their agents, plus an unsurprisingly bad turn from thoroughly unrespectable ex-porn legend Ron Jeremy, who probably isn't as ashamed of this mess as most people would be.
score 2/10
BA_Harrison 28 December 2014
Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3150061/35545
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