Three Kinds of Misery
It could be called THE THREE FACES OF ANGST.Watching LOST AND DELIRIOUS zaps you into the utter miseries of adolescent anguish, and even those who haven't been to boarding school will relate.
Moreover, each lead teen exemplifies a different type of misery although all have identity issues. Take the narrator; Mouse is her dad's pet name for her. Mary Bedford, also known as Mary B., gets the label 'B for Brave' by her older, dashing dorm mate Paulie. But afraid to take on the Brave mantle, Mary calls tells the Indian landscaper she's 'In Transition,' a fitting name for a pubescent teenager. Mary represents the anguish of detachment, leaving home for the first time though only about fourteen. Her mother died of cancer three years earlier and stepmom is envious of the bond between Mouse and her father. Hence she arrives at school and awkward outsider. Not only does Mary exude the New Girl vibe, but she soon finds herself witness to an extremely passionate relationship between her roommates, the adopted Paulie (short for Pauline), and the religious Victoria. After awhile, Mary finds their mutual cooing comfortable, evidence of their confidence in her as a trusted friend. The girls also bond through imaginary letters written to their parents which purge their repressed feelings. For instance, Tory air-writes to her mother whom she both despises and idolizes.
Unlike Mary and Paulie, Tory has both an older brother in a nearby boy's academy and a younger sister here at Perkins. When the sister discovers Tory in bed naked with Paulie, Tory starts a campaign of disavowing her love. Yet this is no ordinary crush soon blown over. Tory, who initiated lesbian sex acts several times, continues to room with and unintentionally tease the despairing Pauline. Both girls are homophobic in both speech and attitude. They do not consider themselves gay at all, but sharing in a special unity. However, to squelch rumors of their homosexual behaviors, Tory starts dating Jake, her brother's friend, and bragging about it, blaming Paulie as the unclear, unrequited lover. Her misery stems from self-denial, and deep-seated fear of being gossiped about and labeled. Anyone who has come out of the political or sexual closet knows how labels stick. Above all, she fears being disowned by her family.
Paulie has no such fear because her birth mother wishes to remain unfound and her adopted mom has emptiness behind her smiling eyes. Even the teachers can see Paulie's torment. Her affection for Tory soars beyond all teenage crush. This is a pure passion which exceeds rationality. Reading Shakespeare and cavalier poetry turns Paulie into a knight of yore, and she challenges Jake to a duel for the love of her lady. Despite this and her other tomboy tendencies, she cannot accept the lesbian label, either, but she's willing to put up with whatever others say as long as she can continue the fleeting bliss known all-too-briefly. In Pauline we see the ultimate misery of desire denied. With the firm confidence of youth, Pauline cannot imagine ever loving so deeply, so freely again. A realism pervades the strong performances of LOST AND DELIRIOUS that echoes the depressing state of adolescent anguish. The clear delineation of separate but joined misery by the three young leads make this film not a downer, but a celebration of truth--and film-making at its most intimate and revelatory.
score 10/10
philmphile-1 28 September 2004
Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw0726981/35526
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