A Look Into the Minds of Erotomaniacs
I've always been intrigued by accounts of celebrity stalkers, particularly ones who have convinced themselves that they are in actual relationships with their targets. "I Think We're Alone Now" documents two of them in the grip of their decades-long obsessions with a flash-in-the-pan pop singer. Most folks have never heard of Tiffany, because she was famous for about 15 seconds in the late 80s and then disappeared completely from the limelight. That's why it's quite remarkable that she still has a throng of fans 30 years later, but it's just disturbing that her momentary stint in the spotlight was long enough to attract not one, but two scary-obsessed fans.The first is Jeff Turner, an Aspie in his mid-to-late 50s who has been stalking Tiffany since she was 16. The documentary begins with his erotomania in plain view: he actually believes that Tiffany is in love with him and repeatedly refers to her as a close, personal friend. He proudly displays the restraining order that she issued him in 1989, and the newspaper clippings of his detainment after attempting to approach young Tiffany with a Samurai sword (it was to be a gift). Often, Jeff resorts to lying about himself and Tiffany in a sad attempt to impress strangers; he tells an O-faced fan at a concert that Tiffany had once called him at his house to tell him that she was his "friend, mentor and protector."
In addition to his delusions of having a close relationship with the singer, he's also a great believer in the silliest of conspiracy theories and junk science. The scene that will convince any viewer that Jeff is totally out to lunch is when he dons his "radionic" bicycle helmet that he believes allows him to communicate with Tiffany telepathically...
And then there is Kelly McCormick, who, in my opinion, was a far sadder and more sympathetic character than Jeff. Kelly is a thirty-something lesbian from Denver who has never had a romantic relationship. She identifies herself as an intersex individual in the documentary; however, in the DVD commentary, she admits that she is not intersex and is, in fact, transgender. The only relevance that this has are the portions of the documentary in which she lies about her false condition; in one scene, she claimed that her father had been exposed to Agent Orange in the Vietnam War and insinuates that this may have caused her nonexistent condition. In another scene, she stated that she has a menstrual cycle; obviously, that's not possible if she's not genetically female.
Kelly may not be as scary as Jeff, but she is certainly no less delusional in her expectations. She's convinced that she and Tiffany are destined to be together. She claimed to have had a vision of Tiffany -- whom she alleged to have never seen nor heard of beforehand -- after being comatose from a bike accident. Since then, she has made it her life's mission to fulfill her premonition. Her sparsely-furnished apartment is covered with photos of Tiffany, along with a full-length poster of the famous "The Kiss" photograph with Kelly's handwritten captions "Tiffany. Me. This will happen very soon!"
And how do Jeff and Kelly deal with the reality that Tiffany is married and clearly has no interest in people she doesn't know? Quite differently. Jeff seems to have no problem adjusting his delusions when confronted; he shows the audience a photo of himself, Tiffany, and her husband Benn George, whom Jeff laughingly declares is jealous of him. Kelly, on the other hand, becomes sullen and depressed, as she interprets Benn as deliberately blocking her from accessing her true love. "My destiny is I'm supposed to be with Tiffany! I'm not kidding you! I am sick and f**ing tired of this bullsh*t of being pushed out of Tiffany's life when I'm supposed to be in it!"
Eventually, the two meet in Las Vegas to attend a Tiffany concert together, the first for Kelly. At this point, we are quite interested to see how the two obsessed fans can get along. Surprisingly enough, they get along well enough, but their pitiful delusions do not become less painful to watch and eventually they do clash. Jeff rambles about using his "best friendship" with Tiffany to put in a good word with her for Kelly. Kelly tells the audience privately that between her and Jeff, she's got the better shot to win Tiffany's heart, as she shakily applies makeup in the hotel bathroom.
Erotomania is when a person has the delusion that someone else -- usually a high-profile stranger -- is in love with that person. What is especially scary is that there is generally no amount of rejection that will convince the sufferer that their beloved is uninterested. They tend to cook up stories about how their relationship is being hidden from the public, or that there are forces in their sweetheart's life that are trying to keep them apart. Jeff believes that Tiffany never filed the restraining order against him; it must have been the doing of her then-handlers. And Kelly leaves the concert believing that a momentary encounter with her beloved at an autograph-signing formed an "everlasting friendship." What is truly astounding is that both of these individuals have real-life friends, and yet they never compare their actual friendships with their imaginary distant "relationships" with Tiffany.
At the end of the documentary, Jeff reveals his latest obsession: actress Alyssa Milano. In a classic case of history repeating itself, Jeff was slapped with another restraining order, this time by Milano, shortly after the release of the documentary. In follow- up videos on the documentary's Youtube channel, Jeff states that Alyssa Milano "betrayed" him and "set him up" by issuing the restraining order; he doesn't seem to understand why a stranger cannot creep around someone else's backyard. In one video, he calls Milano "a bisexual, nymphomaniac, statutory rapist, socialpathic (sic) serial killer! Psychotic!"
Wow... just wow...
score 10/10
Peach_Braxton 16 April 2015
Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3221613/34950
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