The Amazing Super Powered Detective Robert Goren
I have tried for weeks to sit and enjoy the show, but each time it falls short. Each show I am astounded at how reality is left behind.I have boiled the problem down to one thing that creates so many other problem. The show is basically a vehicle for the main star, Vincent D'Onofrio. The problem is how they go about promoting him. Normally on crime shows there is a team of people working to solve a case; CSI, detectives, forensic pathologist, patrolmen etc. On this show Vincent does it all. Oh there are other people but anything important he has to do himself. Send a body to the morgue to be examined, not good enough. Run Vincent to the morgue, there will be something the forensic examiner missed and you can use your superhuman powers to find it! Going to a crime scene covered in cops, no problem for super Vincent! All the cops will miss any important evidence and Vinny will find it! So in an attempt to make him the focus and solver of all crimes they make the show laughable. Below are some actual things I have seen on this show.
1) In the episode Want starring Neal Patrick Harris, the forensic pathologist does her thing but missing something very small. The main character uses his supervision to see two tiny cuts on her bone that the pathologist then needs a microscope to see! I did not know Det. Robert Goren had super powers, if he has super vision maybe he can use heat rays and fly too! 2) In the episode Stray, the police officers question the suspects at the end of the show without the presence of council. When did this become part of the law? In fact I believe it is quite illegal and any information uncovered in this manor is inadmissible.
3) When lawyers are present, rarely do they say anything. One episode (Gemini) the lawyers pipes up 'wait we need to talk' to his client, but then says nothing and allows his client to speak. This is not at all rare on the program, in fact it is a running joke I love. How much will the lawyer actually help his client, usually it is nothing unless it lends itself to the implausible story line. One lawyer in the Gemini episode even told his client and I quote "It's all good". Where did he get his law degree? From Rasko's Chicken and Waffles? Is "All Good" a legal term, why didn't he just use the street term and tell his client "It's A to the G baby"? Sad indeed. The lawyers and their involvement in their clients case is minimal, it makes the story quite amusing.
4) How is that the main detective states his opinions as facts, which conveniently they end up being, and more conveniently his superiors issue warrants based on his opinions? One episode (Provada) the detective has an unnecessary warrant issued to lure the suspect into confessing. Does that really happen? Is that even legal? I'm sure busy New York judges have time to issue dummy warrants, maybe that's why the court systems are so clogged up. On the episode Want, they issued a warrant they knew was fake, even the DA knew. Perhaps they are taking advantage of the Patriot Act.
5) How does the detective get the suspects to distrust their friends and family based on his opinions? In the Gemini episode, a man turns on his own father, simply on the rantings of the detective. Would this ever happen? Why do the suspects continue to entertain the detective instead of telling him to 'go to hell and leave them alone'? If it was me and my dad I'd push that detective down a flight of stairs then take a steaming dump on his head.
6) How does one detective know every place in NYC? It's a big city, I live there, and I don't even know all the minute details that the detective knows. 'Remember the Chinese store with the golden sun on the outside; I remember how it was set up on the interior, with mirrors. Yes I also remember it closed down 12 years ago' (Reference to Stray episode). People remember the things on the walls from when they were 12? 7) How are major capital crimes solved in about 48 hours? Oh I know the convenient things that happen to let the detective know what's going on. The pillow on the couch for the father with sciatica (Provada) let him know the father was the suspect (my own mother has sciatica, why didn't he take an Advil before he went over, why didn't the pillow get moved back, why all of a sudden did he not want to kill his son), the girl her twisted her ankle (Stray) so she could easily be seen in Times Square (Not only that but the fact that a NYC subway attendant remember 2 people. First people in the booth never look up and second you don't even go to them for tokens, you get a metro-card from the machine.
The show is laughable at best. Every week he waves his hand at the accused and says, "These are not the droids you are looking for." Then the accused admits the crime!!!! Jedi mind trick to solve cases. This show is plagued by lazy writing, I guess that's why it's heading for basic cable (all premier episodes will air on the USA network)
score 1/10
boah-2 22 May 2007
Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1660416/14265
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